Passion of the Logical Man
By J. PriceSo….what is this thing that wakes me in the night? What is it that turns the reasonable, logical man into a naive boy again? How can a man of many years feel the youthful passions of a young man? Some say that love has no bounds. Does that hold true for me? Some also say that it is the heart that loves. If that is true, then why does it feel that it is the center of my soul that burns with this new found passion? What is passion? Why is it just not a word? Why do we associate this feeling that I now have with this simple word? Even to look at the word causes the pain to soar.
Her hair; why does it seem that touching her hair would somehow ease the longing? I have heard some talk about this need; this desire; this longing. I have heard some say that this is like a drug. I have heard them say that this feeling burns like the pain of an addict in need of a "fix". A love "fix"?
Can you hear? Can you hear the turmoil of the logical man fighting to keep his logic? Meanwhile, the pain burns in the center of his soul. Even now it is hard to write, but is easy. It is like a trickle of water through a dam that is about to burst.
To see her;
To have her would be the greatest thing.
Need her; needing her is the worst thing.
Not being able to have her breaks his heart. So what is this heart that brings tears to his eyes?
It is like a plague that spreads through his soul. He cannot contain it, but it is contained. Listen to the logical man. He is trying to keep his logic. He wakes to the world, but the world threatens to take her away.
He is angry; in his dreams she was his. She loved him. His only fear was the waking. Why can not his dreams be as they were? Are his dreams different in his heart and mind? Why is his day-dreaming different from his night-dreaming? Why must he pretend during his day that she is only……He cries. He cries because he knows that it cannot be. Are her dreams his?
His fear; what if they are only his dreams? Will he be a fool? Certainly not the first fool; but how many loves have been lost for fear of becoming a fool? How many hearts have been broken because of fear?
Is he winning the battle, but losing? The feeling is leaving some. The feeling that hurt so badly, but is wanted so much. Why do I find now that it has eased? I want it back so direly. Oh, please make it come back.
Let me talk about her. She is the ray of sunshine that makes me feel warm. She is the view when I look into the mountains. She is the breeze on my face. She is the waves rolling in at the ocean. She is the feeling I get when I am having a good day.
To touch her…
The world calls.