She
Thomas TurnerShe doesn’t seem to care about me, at least, not as much as I care about her. What do you do when the person you’re in love with is in love with someone else? What are you supposed to say? How are you supposed to control your feelings when you’re around that person?
Those are the questions that are striking my mind at this moment – the questions of my longest days, my long, sleepless nights.
At times, I just want to fall to pieces. Others, I want to shed this rough, dark exterior and reach out to her – to prove that I am worthy of her love. Not him! Would that be selfish? Would that be wrong?
Oh, how much do I contemplate on acting out the ideas and the fantasies that sweep into my mind. I think of the things that I should say, yet they never seem to come out of my mouth – from my anxious lips, those that are so anxious to press against hers, to fulfill my overwhelming desire to kiss her.
I want to be the first thing she looks upon every morning when she rises from her nightly sleep. I want to be the one to take care of her – to hold her in my arms in times of laughter and in times of tears. I want to be the one that she will always come to for comfort – for deep, loving caresses and for soft, everlasting kisses. I want to be the one to feel her wet lips tickling my ear as she whispers, “I love you,” while resting her lovely head upon my shoulders and while we make sweet, passionate love.
That’s all just a dream – the dream that’s been haunting me for so long now. At times, I wonder will I ever get over her. Sometimes, I wonder if I even want to. There are even times when I wished I had never met her. If I hadn’t, then maybe this pain, this heartache wouldn’t be here. Perhaps.
I guess I have no other choice, but to dream. For my dreams are the only moments when I’m holding her. My reality is filled with the torture of not. But, that’s how it goes, when the one you love is in love with someone else.