Untitled
Allyshia Babbitt
Do not think of anything but what he told you.
Stumbling out of that room with
His laughter.
And his eyes were gone and instead she could see herself mirrored into some sharp distortion; a torn doll with a battered face.
Rip away the sheets and pinning her
down
You have no strength. You had none to begin with. One smile one touch one promise one kiss-
But that isn’t what I-
On her back she screamed until her lungs split and slipped down into the hollow cavity of her stomach. He looked past her through her in the silent room where demons danced and shadows
Were pinned beneath and
Get off of me.
How many times did you have to yell? How many times did you have to say No? To plead? To beg? To scream? To pick up your tongue from being tangled being twisted being choked in your chorded communicants? How many times did it have to take before you learned?
Do we ever learn?
The pills danced in her stomach. Her empty stomach, shredded from day after day of committing her food down the sink. Bracelets littered her arms to cover the scars.
And the eyes that stared out were that of a terrified child.
It was not like dancing.
There was no love, no happiness, no passion, no consent no
He was so heavy, and his breath was bitter from cigarette smoke. The lips were pressed against hers and she felt as if he were chewing her up and moved her head but his tongue on her neck
Now he was pushing and forcing
Don’t, please-
…please…
Oh God, No!
Ripping tearing thrusting and each movement sliced agony through her body and her was shaking and nodding “it is my fault, no it isn’t, it’s mine, it isn’t, who am I…” and taking it for consent he whispered sweet nothings into her ears until the acid was too much and her hands went out to push him away, but he held down her arms and laughed at her frisky nature.
She just wanted to be loved.
Baby, I had to, I’m sorry…