Edgar Allen Poe Meets Dr. Seuss
Bradley S. Rees
Now that I have your attention, I know I donít have long,
So let me try and cut the tension, and hope I slice it wrong.
I know it would be easy to sever every vein;
The sight of blood would please me, mixed with the sounds of pain.
But that would be too messy: the blood would leave a stain.
Although your screaming would impress me, the neighbors might complain,
And that would make the fifth time in the last two weeks alone
(Good thing I cut that little line that runs into their phone).
And itís good that weíve had rain and the woods behind the house are big
(Burying bodies is less strain when ground is soft and easy to dig).
Oh, but now Iíve gone off track! Forgive me, my mind will sometimes slip.
I was talking in circles behind my back, a good way to dislocate your hip.
Heavens! Where did my manners go? Would you care for a drink?
A nice Chianti? Perhaps Merlot? (Will mask the cyanide, I think.)
There you are, now shall we toast? Hereís to the cork I had to pop.
Why, you look as if youíve seen a ghost! The wine will help, drink every drop.
There, your color has come up. Would you care for another glass?
As for me, oneís quite enough (drunken digging is too great a task).
HmmÖ this one is a tougher breed; most die rather quick.
I believe that what this visitor needs is a tiny splash of arsenic.
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