Perfect Gentleman
By Christopher Ferguson

It baffles me
It really does
Society is very odd.

These huge muscles
And six pack abs
I receive jealously from God.

Blonds, Brunettes,
And dyed redheads
It’s really all you see.

I’m an amazing guy
Confounding it is
Why isn’t any girl with me?

A gentleman at heart
I’m the first to start
I ask her on a date
I’ve got the time
Right on the dime
I’m never ever late.

I pull up her seat
We talk and eat
I pay for all the food
I’m the nicest guy
On this side of Earth
You can’t accuse me that I’m rude.

I’m the sharpest dressed
I must confess
More romantic than the moon
I’m great in bed
Or so they said
I make them scream and swoon.

Sparkling smile
Down to the file
I’m just so spectacular
Maybe they just can’t
Keep up with me
With my verbose vernacular.

My entourage
And great visage
I have no adversary
I seduce by voice
You can’t resist
Like a beautiful canary.

As you can see
I’m the perfect guy
Sent down from heaven above
From my house to my car
To my steel guitar
What isn’t there to love?

Well it must be the woman’s fault
So it would make it seem
Or maybe I’m just full of shit
Living inside a shallow dream.

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